GOD WHY ME EVERYTIME

Sorry guys couldn’t post anything new yesterday coz I was dead tired………....


Durga Pooja on its high (it was navami yesterday) and I loved the pandals, not to forget the passion in the crowd ….…

What I hated though was the exceedingly unmanageable heavy traffic, diversions, jams, cacophonic loudspeakers ……sultry heat, erratic power supply……….. (The list is endless…just go on adding…)






Sometimes the problem of brain drain does bother me and I tend to have an aversion to those who after utilizing or rather exploiting nation’s resources end up strengthening the economy of a foreign land, but days like yesterday were just a testimony that after all the “brain drained” are not all that wrong………who doesn’t aspire for a better living……………


And if at all government is so worried about the stealth of intellectual wealth isn’t it imperative on its part to provide WORKING and LIVINGconditions at par with the international standards………….




I know I ll have comments::::::

“why blame the government…….isn’t it our responsibility too……….”

but I say yes blame the government…….leaders have always been known to set examples……and if our leaders (people who run the government) behave the way they do, what do they expect of their followers…and anyways what can you and I do to change this without administrative and legislative support………..If someone is still not convinced then bear with me coz its my blog right…….










Heck….i had thought of something and I ended up somewhere










……Anyways let me take you to yet another decisive and emotional day of my life………..






The 18th of july 2009……..I was in Delhi for counselling in a premiere technical institute Delhi College of Engineering…..Must have heard of it…….








Well after overcoming the disappointment of JEE results and regaining my emotional normalcy an even more difficult phase started. A phase where I was suppose to take a decision and a big one mind you……..


The AIEEE results had come and I had got a decent enough rank (3834 to be precise) which was good enough I guess to get into any good institute associated to AIEEE(NITs,BIT,DCE)






But NITs are not IITs right and that zeal of being called an IItian was still there…most people who knew me well enough suggested me to take a year drop and go off to Kota …a place far off in Rajasthan where I have heard  IITians are produced in a flurry….most of my friends (apart from those who qualified JEE) were already there…so that was another motivating factor….


But my dad who happens to be one of the best psychologists in town (I thank god for that) gave a straight NO citing that I would not be able to cope the psychological pressure…IF at all I had to take another shot at JEE it would be after joining a reputed insti……






The next question was to choose an institute……


Rankings were checked, magazines were referred, online, offline research and finally 5 institutes were short listed………….






Three best NITs (Trichy,Warangal and Surathkal )were immediately put out of contention…………reason:::::::::::tooooooooooooo far away.You cant really argue my dad on these issues………..










And I was left with two options DCE and BIT Mesra










Now for any fun loving flirtatious guy like me there was just one obvious choice……Delhi Life rocks…. And so do DU gals……don’t they????


Add to that some of my very good friends,yes that includes Delicate Darling, were also going to Delhi (IIT-D,DU….)






Moreover in the holidays I had read a book titled “Of course I love You,Till I find someone better” co-authored by a DCE and an SRCC graduate…The glamour quoted there was irresistible and it had made DCE my next dream…….dad was more in Mesra’s favour for his own reasons……… but I fought hard to convince him and finally he obliged……….


The highest in India placement for DCE in 2008 (40 lakh) only helped my cause.






The 2008 cutoffs were well within my reach……


I was sure to get electrical or if lucky even mechanical( Now DCE mechanical is suppose to be the best in Asia if India Today is to be believed)…..






Me and dad reached DCE campus at around 11 in the morning ready with all documents well confident that I have a seat here for sure.. The counseling was scheduled to begin at 2….


The walk from the main gate to the counselling venue (roughly kilometer and a half) was strange in many ways…..


there was an eerie rush in the crowd……something which didn’t please me……tensed faces were there all around…….I could sense something terribly wrong….but I had no idea what it was… I jerked it all away calling it nervousness but inside I had a gut feeling
“dude its not your day today”..


It was not long that my ominous premonitions took the form of crude reality. Right at the front door of the counselling venue was hung the first list which


Surprisingly did not feature my name on it……….. Shock ……………… what the hell……. that was the time I realized how cut offs could change…..






But there was still hope. It was just the first list and further lists were to be subsequently put up depending on seat availability…Dad and I sat inside the air conditioned room but you could feel the sweat all over my body…….






Mean while I forgot to tell that I had already got a computer science seat in BIT Mesra…which was suppose to be my last option……(now that suicide was totally out of the cards) ..The lists continued coming out at regular intervals and each time I rushed with more hopes than fear that I would a get a seat for sure only to return with grievous disappointment……. When the fifth and the last list was put on I went again to check more in customary compulsion than enthusiasm coz I knew I had no chance….and know what life has really been playing silly games with me…the second last line of the page read ::

23000157        Biotechnology     NSIT

I checked again thinking it to a mental refuge from reality..…..but no….. it was my roll no……..My AIEEE roll no…


Ecstasy overwhelmed me for a split moment but it turned into shocking horror the very next …..


Biotechnology???????NSIT???????






Told dad what had happened and his ruthless reply

“Chal beta.Lets go…..BIT is very good……..”

I became desperate and fought with dad there itself…..First time that I had arsied my voice against him……
“I want to take admission here irrespective of the branch”…..
but dad wont listen……..I had a sudden outrage of succumbed feelings which took the form of violent reaction…The tears that I had preserved since suffering my first failure about a month back finally found a seepage through my wet eyes…could not help but wail at my utter bad luck…… Dad literally pulled me out of the room and carried me all the way to the metro stop.






That metro ride from Rithala to Pragati maidan was the worst one of my life….. I wanted to stop my tears but it was more of an involuntary reaction to an unexpected stimulus………….

”GOD WHY ME EVERYTIME”

I remember the words clearly…..thats what I kept on repeating each time I took a break from my incessant sobbing…….






My dreams had been shattered twice in quick succession……..how was I suppose to handle it this time around…………






Even my delicate darling was not with me this time around coz she was more desperate that I get a seat in Delhi for reasons that are obvious I guess…






“Mesra is very good”..


My father’s words kept ringing in my ear drums……my vocals wanted to respond “good but good enough for me??????……….”






What followed is history guys and all u need to know that BIT Mesra in deed is good….you might think this to be a statement of compromising satisfaction and I can't stop you from that but trust me BIT has all that I wanted in my college of dreams…….yes the chicks are not that hot out here and neither do you have huge malls at every nook and corner of Ranchi . But campus life rocks and I have got sworn into it so much so that I ll not even give a try at JEE next year  (remember how passionate I was………..)….










“Gul se lipti hui titli ko girakar dekho,


Aandhiyon tumne darakhton ko giraya hoga


Kaun aaya hai yahaan koi na aaya hoga


Mera darwaaaza darakhton ne hilaya hoga”



I guess that ends all the tragic instances of my otherwise happy go lucky life... the future posts i guess would be more enjoyable than emotional........

Signing of.....In hope of  your appreciation