2009 :: An Year in Review:: My Way

You know what the best thing about blogging is???


That even an awful writer and stupid blogger like me can have a fan following…This blog for instance has been written in response to the demand by one of my fanatic (if I may use the word) followers who also happens to be my very best friend……….I had ideas and I knew I had to write but needed some outside inspiration and constant poking…… And then comes Delicate Darling asking me to put my literary talent (if at all I have any) into productive usage…….. She can really be an inspiration at times….. In fact I often tell her she should quit her studies and join Asaram Bapu with talk shows…. Guaranteed to be an instant hit…..





Its end sem break there in Mesra and I m back home doing what I m best at--absolutely nothing……The past year --or in more engineering like terms the pre engineering preparatory phase and the first semester --has to go down undoubtedly as the most eventful phase of my relatively young life……..In this little piece of absolute shit I would try to review this hot(global warming) and happening(Woods scandal) year…Events international, national, political, sexual(thanks to Shiney Ahuja),sports and everything else and how they personally affected me………..



The year as it always does began with January (though some fools still think 1st April to be the new year day….)…….



January:::The month was marked by two important events…..Barack Obama became the first black president of USA, but then what’s the big deal……In India we have a black president every five years…(ex : V.V. Giri, K.R.Narayanan, A.P.J.Abul Kalam)..None of them would get an ad for Himami Fair and Handsome, would they???

But I was actually trying my luck on some modelling assignments….and believe it or not I won the prestigious Mr.D.P.S title(which is just one step below the gladrags MR.India paegant)… I have proof people coz photographs don’t lie…. So for all those not so good looking folks like me…..there’s hope guys…..coz “where there is a will there sometimes is way”……

February::: This was a glorious month for India…. Mahesh Bhupathi and Sania Mirza won the Mixed Doubles title at the Australian open (first Indian pair to do so)

But more importantly… A.R. Rahman and Slum dog Millionaire clean swept the Oscars….

These events had such a tremendous impact on me that all of my February was spent singing “Jai Ho” on the streets of Bokaro so that I could raise some money and help the slum children play tennis……….(ok u guys know that’s a lie but u can at least appreciate the connection right....)



March::: All those from ICSE background(poor ppl as they had to memorise the whole of Julius Caesar) and the literature interested CBSE ones, u must be knowing of the ill fate the Ides of March brought on Caesar….Needless to mention my situation was pretty similar as CBSE unceremoniously but regularly without any fail conducts board exams in the month of march every year and for a student as ill prepared as me it was definitely not party time but as Shakespeare once said ”Cowards die many times before their death, the valiant never taste of death but once”….I bravely went and wrote all the exams



April::: While I was too engrossed giving my competitive exams(and believe me this time I was well prepared) another model and my Bollywood’s fiercest competitor was busy unbuttoning his jeans that also in public (no prizes for guessing his name)……Now in a country like ours where the fourth pillar of the democracy (in short the MEDIA) is all but hungry for masala no wonder the issue became a hot furore…..Poor luck Akki and what next he followed it up with a string of unbelievable flops, so much so that his face turned “BLUE” with shame.



May:: The whole of the nation was waiting anxiously for the election results, after all India happens to be the largest democracy(read: intensely populated) nation of the world……will it be another term for UPA or a revival for NDA….. On a personal note I was even more anxious for my JEE results…

At the centre BJP led NDA got fucked and Congress swept the parliament, back home JEE results fucked me and a I was swept over by a deep depressing and melancholic feeling.…..



June::: Most of my time was spent contemplating ideas for a potential suicide (after all my JEE rank wasn’t good enough for an IIT seat).. But the world bid farewell to one of the greatest people to have blessed the planet with their presence…… yes the moonwalker MJ….a huge loss…This tragic instance, though, egged me on to drop the life ending ideas of mine……no I m not a rock star, neither can I walk on the moon but all I know is that world needs another superstar and if I die who will burden that responsibility???



July Aug and September::: The only significant event I can relate to is the legalization of gay sex by the Delhi High court. On a personal level though I actually got some detailed insights into why and how do people turn gay…… Its nothing but an extension of Charles Darwin’s Theory of Evolution….

Long back Darwin had stated a concept called ADPATATION: process in which an organism undergoes radical and evolutionary change in its anatomy and/or behaviour in order to survive an adversary condition…..Well our college BIT, Mesra with all due respect to its technical reputation, just about provides the adversary habitat for gayistic adaptation to take place. I mean what else u can expect if u expose a large bunch of boys (most of them with highly active sexual hormones) to a handful few girls (most of them bearing a tag “committed already in high school”)…

For those raising their eyebrows I honestly declare that I have some how still managed to keep my sexual orientation very much straight and I can say this because the sight of a hot girl still salivates me….



October and November::: Most of the time was spent. Yes that’s a complete sentence…. Coz all I did was carefully and judiciously waste my time…one of my friends Agent Provocateur told me about a theorem.

The Chin Fu-King-Whatshitovsky Theorem of Unfulfilled Aspirations

"An engineering student in his nth sem will almost everyday decide to start studying from (n+1)th sem, n<8"

and I decided to make it the mantra of my life….. but when the endsems ghosts were wandering all around only thing which could save me was a potential question paper leak…… And guess what, the next day there was a leak and it was all over the newspapers…. Unfortunately it wasn’t the endsem questions, rather the Liberhann committee report.. oh yes some committee which was suppose to prepare this report nineteen years ago…..how ironic but thats India people…our very own and lovable motherland…



December:









Yes its empty coz I want u the readers to fill it up…. Come on comment and tell me just how u spent ur December this year……

Looking forward to some exhilarating and interesting comments…..



Hope u liked it



Signing off and wishing all readers    A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR