Special Theory of REVERSE Relativity

Well this blog is just for the sake of blogging.....had absolutely nothing to do(apart from 5 bloody assignments)......so dont expect it to be a literary masterpiece....(none of my posts are anyways worth anything).
Its been quite some time since the last post. Many significant and insignificant events have occured there after....
The most significant of them was the formulation of a new theory called 
             
       Special Theory of REVERSE Relativity

This theory has opened new horizons for extensive research in the field of Students' behavior and is helping the teachers reason out the various causes responsible for the increasing number of under-performing engineers that are lately being manufactured in BIT factory.... Students and teachers across the institute are still unsure of the vast application of this theory in the day to day life of a BITian..

The two important postulates which define this theory are

• TIME CONTRACTION: When a non - studying Engineering student is analysed from a frame of reference fixed to the Examination Department, the Semester clock appears to tick faster...Resultantly the frequency of a semester tends to infinity, or in other words the Time Period tends to 0 (zero)            

          Two direct consequences of this postulate are stated below:

1. The wave function ψ(psi) pertaining to the probability density of an aspiring engineer securing a back in any paper returns a constant value 1, with each point representing an anti- node. The ψ vs subject graph for each student is a a line parallel to the x axis with a y intercept= 1.

•  The unusual behavior of the graph near the vicinity of Data Structure where it returns a theoretically impossible value(1.5) explains the fact that it is virtually impossible for a "common man" to pass the DS exam in the first attempt...

              2.   The cases of self-destruction of students increases with an exponential slope especially BITOTSAV (suicide-utsav) around the corner......2k10, though was noted to be an exception  as no suicide cases have been reported as of yet..

                   

• LENGTH DILATION : When a first year student residing in the farthest hostel of the university is asked to report to the Institute Main Building twice a day---once in the morning at 8 when the vodka from last night is still in control of the senses ,and secondly in the scorching afternoon heat at 2--- the 2.5 km distance appears to be 3.73 light years..The only relief is the auto waalas with speeds ranging from 0.1 c to 0.99 c who carry the the students to and from the Insti Building.

            The major consequences are mentioned below

1. The most obvious result of length dilation is the increase in the tendency of students to bunk as many classes as possible, eventually resulting in the dreadful phenomenon of  "F-stars "....
2. Recently serious health issues have also been reported as students in order to fight the heat, take the help of toilet cleaners  (read cold drinks)  which are easily avaialble inside the campus instead of the "lauki ka joos" that Ramdev Baba suggests...(but wait baba claims to have a cure even for AIDS......so who cares)...

Well thats all for now...........
Famous Nobel Laureate  Albert Szent-Gyorgyi had once said

Research is to see what everybody else has seen, and to think what nobody else has thought.

We at F.A.C.O.I.T.S. Multi-Facility Research Center sincerely believe in these words and will be coming up with more researches and theorems involving the various aspects of college going students........
Keep looking for further updates.................



All rights reserved..
Copyright © 2010 F.A.C.O.I.T.S. Inc




NOTE: This theorem should not be reproduced in whole or in part without the written permission of the copyright holder. While the utmost care has been taken in the formulation of this theorem, it should not be relied upon as a substitute for legal advice or as a basis for formulating career counselling decisions.
Any views expressed in this theorem are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of
  1) The Indian Government,
  2) Birla Institute of Technology,Mesra and
  3) International Bakchodi Association..